


Dan Rydell and the Turtle

by Marguerite Muguet (margueritem)



Category: Sports Night
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margueritem/pseuds/Marguerite%20Muguet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's confused, Casey's going to wear pantyhose and everyone's a turtle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dan Rydell and the Turtle

**Author's Note:**

> Written before 2002.
> 
> Beta by Khirsah. All remaining errors are mine.

2:05 PM  
Dan and Casey's office

Dan : When I was younger, I believed in fairy tales.

Casey : That's cute. And what happened ?

Dan : I kissed a turtle.

Casey : You what ?! A turtle ?

Dan : I was confused. I thought it would become a prince.

Casey : A princess.

Dan : No, a prince. I might have been confused, but I knew that I was gay.

Casey : A turtle.

Dan : Well, bi actually.

Casey : A turtle.

Dan : Stop repeating yourself.

Casey : Dan... How old were you ?

Dan : Six, I think. Hey, you all right Case ?

Casey : I'm trying to understand the whole turtle thing.

Dan : Sally was his name. I know-- we thought he was a she at first.

(Jeremy appears at their door)

Jeremy : Hey !

Dan : Hey !

Casey : ...

Jeremy : That tape you need, do you want me to... Casey, are you all right ?

Dan : I told him about the turtle.

Jeremy : I see. I always wondered why you didn't try with a frog.

Dan : First of all, I was confused. Second of all, ew. At least the turtle was cute.

Casey : You told *him* ? When ?

Jeremy : Technically, he told Nathalie.

Dan : And Nathalie can't keep her mouth shut.

(Nathalie appears at the door)

Nathalie : Hey !

Dan : And she eavesdrops.

Nathalie : Die. Casey, Dana wants you.

Dan : That's new.

Nathalie : In her office.

Dan : She likes risky sex; that's definitively new.

(At the same time)

Casey : Shut up.

Nathalie : Shut up.

(Casey leaves)

Nathalie : He looked disturbed. What's up ?

Jeremy : Dan told him about the turtle.

Nathalie : Really ? Does that mean, I can talk about it with other people ?

Dan : You mean you haven't ? I'm shocked. Where is the world going ? And the answer is no.

Nathalie : Oh, okay. Bye.

Jeremy : I hope you're ready for the outing.

Dan : We'll have to gag her one of this days.

********

2:15 PM  
Dana's office.

Dana : So you'll have to do the interview at one o'clock because of it.

Casey : Okay.

Dana : And you'll have to wear pantyhose and sing Hopelessly Devoted to You.

Casey : Okay.

Dana : Casey, you're not listening.

Casey : Okay.

Dana : Casey !

Casey : What ?

Dana : You're not here. What is it ? What's bothering you ?

Casey : Just something Dan said.

Dana : Okay. What was it ?

Casey : When he was six years old, he kissed a turtle hoping it would become a prince.

Dana : A turtle.

Casey : My reaction exactly.

********

2:15 PM  
Elliot, Nathalie and Kim in a room beside the buffet.

Elliot : A turtle ? Why a turtle ?

Nathalie : He says he was confused.

Kim : It's kind of cute.

Nathalie : My thought exactly.

Elliot : Do you think he keeps doing it ?

Nathalie : I think so. I doubt he has found his prince.

Kim : Hey, was - what was his name ?- Paul a turtle ?

Elliot : Paul ?

Nathalie : You mean the guy with dark hair and green eyes ?

Elliot : Oh, you mean Paul Aldridge, the writer.

Kim : Yes, that one. He pinched Casey's butt.

Nathalie : Maybe, I don't know. We'd have to ask Dan.

(Dan enters while Nathalie speaks)

Dan : Ask me what ?

Elliot : was Paul a turtle ?

Dan : He looked human to me. You just can't keep you're mouth shut.

Kim : So, was he ?

Dan : Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. Any further question will have to be work-related.

(Dan takes an apple and leaves)

Elliot : You think Casey's a turtle ?

********

2:25 PM  
Dana's office

Nathalie : Hey !

Dana : Hey !

Nathalie : Did you know that Dan...

Dana : I know.

Nathalie : You know ? Who told you ?

Dana : Casey.

Nathalie : Oh, what did he say ?

Dana : Not much. He was shocked by the turtle.

Nathalie : Did you know that Paul was one ?

Dana : Paul who ?

Nathalie : Paul Aldridge, the writer.

Dana : Oh, him. He was ?

Nathalie : Yes. It gives a whole new meaning to the whipped cream incident.

Dana : Yeah. Maybe...

Nathalie : What ?

Dana : It's an interesting image.

Nathalie : Yes it is.

Dana : I doubt Casey knows.

Nathalie. I'm on it.

********

2:30 PM  
The costumes room

Nathalie : Did you know Paul Aldridge was a turtle ?

Casey : Paul Aldridge, the one who pinched my butt ?

Nathalie : The one and only.

Jeremy : He's a turtle ? Since when ?

Nathalie : Since always. We just didn't know.

Jeremy : And Dan kissed him ?

Nathalie : I'm sure of it. Although, it obviously didn't work.

Jeremy : Mmmm. What would Dan see in him ?

Nathalie : He's gorgeous for one.

Casey : Barely.

Nathalie : He's funny, he's intelligent, he speaks German and Spanish...

Casey : Enough.

Nathalie : ... he likes sports *and* he's got a cute butt.

Casey : I said enough.

Jeremy : I can see the interest.

Nathalie : *Can* you, now ?

Jeremy : From an intellectual point of view.

Casey : Could you please talk about something else ?

Nathalie : I'm sure he did more than kiss him.

Casey : Oh, for God's sake.

(Casey leaves)

Nathalie : Do you think it worked ?

Jeremy : He seemed jealous to me.

Nathalie : Do you think Casey's a turtle ?

Jeremy : Definitively. The question is : is he a prince charming in disguise ?

********

2:35 PM  
Dan and Casey's office.

(Casey enters their office. Dan is already there.)

Casey : Dan !

Dan : Casey.

(long silence)

Casey : What happened after you kissed the turtle ?

Dan : It didn't work.

Casey : Obviously.

Dan : So I've been trying with other turtles.

Casey : Really.

Dan : Yes, but I haven't found one who's Prince Charming.

Casey : Why do you think ?

Dan : I've been kissing the wrong turtles.

Casey : Was Paul Aldridge a turtle ?

Dan : Maybe, why ?

Casey : I... He pinched my butt.

Dan : That doesn't mean he's one. Many people are turtles and they haven't pinched your butt.

Casey : How many is many ?

Dan : You don't want to know.

(silence)

Casey : Do you think you'll keep trying ?

Dan : Depends.

Casey : On what ?

Dan : I want to try it on someone to see if I have to keep searching.

Casey : Who ?

Dan : You're cute when you're jealous.

(interesting stuff happens)

Casey : I can't get the image of you in a dress out of my mind.

Dan : A white dress ?

Casey : You're not that pure Danny. Ouch, that's my butt you're pinching.

Dan : It's mine now.

Casey : Oh really ?

(more interesting stuff happens)

Dan : You know what ?

Casey : Mmmm ?

Dan : I think you were a cute turtle, but you're now a handsome prince.


End file.
